Tonight
Many Tespus are sending out distress signals from satellites in his
soul garden
where he makes me think of sizzling meat on a hot plate

it’s difficult to follow the pulse of tespu

sometimes it feels weak and far away
sometimes it throbs in my groin
flashing me pictures of naked barbie dolls
tied up and suspended with fishing string

this time
his signal feels infantile.
he seems to be craving milk bottles, soft baby flesh fresh from the ovens,
adult diapers full of little mermaids wriggling like tiny fish served with green coconut rice and red chillies

In my charcoal heart
i can hear Tespu pining for a specific, chameleon like sexual creature

“it needs my medicine!” He cries
“ it needs my bestest breast milk!
Bring me my diaper darling Kok Wei Liang!”

That name makes me want to wear headbands and the skin suit of handsome husbands

it makes me want to touch the thick throbbing hose of firemen
and call upon cops who sport shiny handcuffs and black oily batons
to beat me to death
while i orgasm

I follow the echo of Tespus gibberish noise

I focus on the fax machine and internet sounds of tespu

i follow the trail of breadcrumbs
that leads me to a wormhole
that was once an asshole

I find myself in a garden

ceramic toilet pots growing everywhere
televisions from another world is tuned to white snow
disembodied voices from supermarkets fill the air

the blood in my left scrotum thickens.
and there, above a golden shit pot under a fake plastic tree
is Lord Tespu

He is cross legged and naked and
levitating
as if tired of landing on his feet

palms
Open before his shuriken nipples

an octopus is attached to his groin
sadly sucking him off

I cannot levitate
so i gravitate to high rise ladders that flank his body.
oh, the sacred body of tespu
condensed into butoh like pain and tragedy
emotting oddly tuned
saturday morning cartoon theme songs

his head hangs low
so only his cyclops eye looks out at me
from the top of his skull

he keeps saying

“mascara or miscarried?”
“mascara or miscarried?”

he closes his cyclops eye, headbanging in slow motion
to slower motion death metal music
i feel i should speak to him in my death metal voice:

“whyyyy
areeee
youuuuu
todayyyy
likeeee
thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?”

his voice is barely
a
whisper sanitary tampon.

diaper darling
diaper darling
why are you a feeling of ants on my tongue?

why is your seer eye
in my seer eye
as a
seagulls eye view of
slow cyclone pain in
my miserable left shoe?

you
left
shoe

* sniffles

you
left shoe...

our sexing will be complete
by back masking songs of Beyonce

our sexing is the sound of
smart trumpets
blowing the horns of
Lucy Lucy
Lucy
Lucy
lucy lucy lucy

diaper darling
diaper darling

why are the squirrels
quarrelling over queer milk again?

are the squirrels squirreling away our furniture from our fur coat
house ?

Why do you fold hospital bills like new born baby clothes?

oh
baby
baby, baby, baby!
where is my diaper darling?

Tespu Weeps
Tespu Laments

he collapses into a heap of dried leaves.

i do not have the right drugs for tespu
I try digging my pockets for a remedy
but I only find

spaghetti

I try
digging my alligator skin purse
for the coin of arda
to buy tespu some peace
but i only find

spaghetti

I dig the front pockets of my..
diapers?
why am i suddenly wearing diapers?
to find a USB stick full of
beyonce remixes and Disney songs
How do I know there are Beyoncé remixes and Disney songs

I don’t know?! But This is a sign.

I insert the USB stick into one of the televisions

I play Beyonce’s formation in minus one
on low volume

Tespu appears to be fading away
as if some existential mouse
is changing his opacity values

I turn the TV up
There is lightning! and stage lights! and Jeering! and Cheering!
and from the legs parting in the neon sky
like the second coming
and third coming
and coming and coming and coming
The Kok comes!
wearing his headband!
Our heavenly being Kok weiliang
standing there in his triple diapers on a cloud of smoke and thunder! and says!

"Does Tespu need a baby sitter?"

Tespu and weiliang are sitting on babies
Tespu and Weiliang gurgling and giggling like little chubby cherubs
Tespu is no longer pale and discontent
Tespu and Weiliang singing
“under the semen!
under the semen!”

what the fuck is going on?
this is too much for me!
I think i better go back to my seat…